Culture, Language And Context

Yakun and I were walking to the supermarket last night when I told her: "context is something we really need to pay attention to when trying to understand each other, when trying to make a point English speakers like to explain themselves and then say their point, while most Chinese would say their point and then explain."

Earlier on in our relationship I said "I probably wont understand you if your trying to tell me something by "beating around the bush", if you tell me directly it will make life much easier for both of us".

Something Ken Carroll wrote in an article recently put this further into perspective for the both of us. And an article he referred to made me realize, if I'm speaking Mandarin then I need to place more importance on the social situation and implications that it may have contextually.

Whenever we're eating and I'm a little tired from leaning down to the bowl (our table isn't exactly set up according to fēng shuǐ standards) I may set my kuài zi down for a finger fatigue break. Its at this point that she will look over at me and ask "bǎo lē ma?" if its something shes cooked it may have a hidden meaning of "it doesn't taste good?" so when I reply with "no I'm just taking a break" it may sound like "yes, its not very good". Which would result in a disappointing sigh, and my preceding bewilderment.

I give her a lot of credit, shes been very direct when speaking English with me when she wants something and doesn't expect me to just "get it". And even though some may view this as a crutch for me, she is speaking English, and that's the way it should be done (most of the time). When speaking pǔ tōng huà I will keep in mind that I cant and shouldn't be direct as much as I should play with the social context to get my point across.

On an unrelated note, here is a classic Chinese cartoon representing 36 different characters. (thanks to Yakun for finding it)

What are you looking at?

Having spent more than a few months in China I can tell you I’m already past the romantic stage of our relationship and on to complaining about who’s going to do the dishes next, no I’m not talking about my dearest Yakun I’m talking about my romantic view of China as it was, but it’s not completely faded.

You've probably noticed that you’re being stared at, and you’re told it’s the curious nature of Chinese people, it shouldn't bother you… But it does, at least when they stare for longer than a period of five minutes while your trying to slurp down that hot bowl of 面条 (miàn tiáo) flour noodles.

Being an uncommon sight it doesn’t help that I also have a local girlfriend, which can promote angry stares from what I presume to be lonely men. I guess it can’t be helped but I want to make the situation more enjoyable for the both of us by poking fun at it, so today I learned a few words to do just that.

What are you looking at?

看你个头?

kàn nǐ gè tóu?

Why are you staring? Is there a flower on my face?

看什么看，我脸上有花儿啊？

kàn shén me kàn, wǒ liǎn shàng yǒu huār á?

The English translation may sound cute, but saying this to a stranger is rude, depending on your tone of voice you could get away with this one but I wouldn’t 除非你有种 (chú fēi nǐ yǒu zhǒng ) unless you have the balls.

I finally settled on using this one-liner so I could get back to my meal with out feeling like a jerk.

Can I help you? -or- Do you need something?

有事吗?

yǒu shì ma?

saying this with a kind and humorous demeanor should get you back to a peaceful meal.

Just to cover my self, don't go around using the first two of these carelessly. There, I'm covered!

Bon Appetite.